SURPRISE CALL

from my teddy bear... sabi niya ga'no man kaigsi o ka-insignificant ang mga nangyari between us, lahat naman ng 'yon totoo... at wala siyang pinagsisisihan... ang drama kagabi pero masaya ako kasi bihira ko namang masabi na mahal ko siya... hindi naman nagbabago 'yon kahit matanda na 'ko... well, that's the beauty of first love, it never dies... wala naman din akong pinagsisisihan... at alam kong wala namang naging sayang... may mga bagay o mga tao lang talaga na hindi meant to be...
so ironic... in spite of the complications, i am at peace...one of these days, he is going to visit me... bago daw siya umalis gusto niya akong makita... looking forward to it...

WHITE LIES...

big or small lie is still a lie... what made it affect me deep inside, i felt i have been playing so safe almost all my life... people think i am tough, a risk taker, but i am not really that shit... i am weak... and time is passing me by...
i am a bit older now... turning 24 by next month... still unstable emotionally... my plans are still unclear... and my spirit remains shaking... why? why? why? i can't find myself taking a chance because it's what i want and it makes me happy regardless of how the world would think or feel about it...
and my biggest problem, i complicate simple things... wish i could get over with it... soon:(

UNOCCUPIED

for the longest time, i have survived singolness... and i was happy... until someone changed things... i don't know what's this emptiness about... i can fool the people around me about how i really feel, but deep inside me i know i am being unfair to my own self... i am convincing myself that eventually, it will pass... i will get over with it...
yeah, i am scared... to commit myself... to compromise myself to uncertainties... to love again... and be hurt again...

BEING A TEACHER...

There are instances that I feel I am only breaking the children… I feel frustrated especially if they couldn’t even recognize phonics… but then, I just bear in my mind that learning takes time…

Teaching is not only about headaches to our pupils/students… Isn't it a great feeling to see them develop gradually because of your empathy and sympathy? maybe I could say, their evolvement is a teacher’s pride…  It is an achievement on our part to bring change, even only in the simplest way… We know that all our efforts and sacrifices are counted…  We may not be able to see the result quickly, but you know, somehow, you touch the life of every child you teach…

MORAL OBLIGATION

'yan ang isang mabigat na dahilan kaya hindi ako uma-absent kahit na masama ang pakiramdam ko o masama ang loob ko sa mundo...

for four years, hindi ko nga alam kung saan ako humuhugot ng lakas para maging teacher...
mahirap maging teacher... 'yung hindi lang basta nagtuturo, 'yung may malasakit...

isang bagay lang naman ang lagi ko kasing iniisip, ang mga bata...
dahil sila naman ang dahilan anu man ang dahilan ni lord why he put me here...