LEARNING

WALA AKONG PAKIALAM, the last words I remember I mentioned to him.. meaning, GET OUT OF MY LIFE.. so cruel of me.. but if I didn’t do that, I will forever restrain myself from moving on.. Alam ko naman na kaya niyang maging masaya ng wala ako sa buhay niya kaya gusto ko lang din na maging masaya ng wala na siya sa buhay ko..

At first it was a torture knowing he’s just 11 numbers away, two buses away.. to talk things over.. but what for? To make things harder for me to bear? It’s a disservice to myself to still hope, when all those trying times I’ve had, it was only me who wanted to fight for the relationship ‘til the end..

I am done.. I did my part to revive us.. I gave my best for us to survive.. Even I love him so much, I need to let him go and find myself without him.. It is never easy to let go the one you have loved so much in your life.. but I will make it.. no matter how long it may take.. because I’ve got to.. even not for myself..

Nakakalungkot mang isipin.. madaming mahahalagang bagay at tao sa buhay ko ang unti-unting nalagas ng panahon.. After four years, here we are.. living happily apart.. Here I am, living happily into pieces.. Sobrang frustrations ‘yung pinagdaanan ko.. Pero tahimik kong hinarap lahat.. Kahit gustong-gusto kong umabsent nung mga panahon ng filing sa Pampanga last Feb, hindi ako umalis.. I made the best with the kids who needed me the most.. And it was worth it.. no regrets..

At ‘eto ‘yung pagkakataon na sana ibang uniform ‘yung suot ko.. ‘yung pagkakataon na tinitignan naming dalawa noon.. sana may military wedding ngayon.. sakto na nandito siya.. Kahit gusto kong umiyak, hindi ako makaiyak.. Gano’n pala kasi, the weakest moment of your life is your strongest..

Ayokong isiping nawalan ng saysay lahat ng hirap at pagsisikap ko.. Kung hindi naman dahil sa mga ‘yon, hindi naman ako matututo sa buhay ko ngayon..

I’ve run after the chances along my journey, even if all those chances only failed me the same way repeatedly, I never standstill through all of the blocks that hindered me on every endeavor I have carried for so many years.. All of the disappointments I have successfully passed made me a defined person that I am today.. The black sheep is now whitened by the bleaches products from varied emotional crisis.. The bad girl is now virtuous because of the different exposures from the real world.. The withdrawn is now sensible because of the pain caused by the people who come and go in my life.. The inferior is now assured about herself..

I’ve learned that life is not about winning or losing, but learning and growing.. No matter how many times we stumble and sink through the risks we have taken in our life, we can always stand up and move forward.. Our life will never stop on where we fall.. Your heart will still beat even if it is broken.. We can still make the most of our life by letting things be.. You cannot cease the hands of time to tick, so better get the best out of everything that comes your way.. Tomorrow might be too late if you just let things pass you by..

Love the people who love you, even those who don’t.. keep the memories if they are valuable.. forgive those who cause you pain and pray for those who can’t to you.. drink.. get yourself drunk.. cry.. all these things are free except the alcohol.. hehe:)

Anyway, I would like to thank the people whose been with me all the way.. “I AM NOT THE EASIEST PERSON TO LOVE, BUT YOU, YOU’VE OPEN YOUR HEART AND SHOW ME WHAT I’M WORTH”..

Maraming salamat sa mga pagkakataon na alam kong hindi ako nag-iisa.. kahit na praning ako.. sumpungin.. may topak..Salamat Mam Charot.. Mam Judy.. Mam Myra.. Mam Irene.. Ate Sherlie.. Nimrod.. Mam Lisa.. sa mga bata.. Melisa, ang bestfriend ko.. at siyempre si Angelica Joyce, na kahit anong mangyari, talagang alam kong SOLID sa ‘kin.. at kay V, lalo na sa’yo.. salamat..