time does not erase things.. people erase things.. people erase people..

it took a long time before i felt i must forgive him for what he had done to me..
since i was a child, i've been living in hell..
i thought then he was the one who could change my lonely life..
because he knew what i was going through..
but he cheated me..
i never expected that he could do that to me..
and it hurted me badly..

that time, i felt really sorry for myself..
may sarili na nga akong mundo..
galit pa 'ko sa mundo..
i couldn't believe that the source of my strength
was the one who made me weak..

from the pain he caused me
he made me realized the things i never knew about this life..
i saw the reality..
that there are different people in this world..
and we cannot expect them to be what we wanted them to be to us..
or act according to what is right for us..
there are people who could go on in their lives
fooling and using anyone
just to be happy..
there are no assurance that they won't hurt us
no matter how much we tried to love them
the best way we can..

i always wanted to make him happy..
to give him the love i thought he needed..
i even tried to change myself to become the person fitted in his world..
but everything i did was wasted because he never give importance to my feelings..

akala nya siguro dahil bata ako, pwede nya ng paglaruan ang damdamin ko..

maybe i'm young.. but i could play life's hard games..
and he lost it..
he lost me..

but then i should thank him for teaching me to love unconditionally..
he made me stronger in spite of everything..
i became a better person because of everything..

i never regret that once in my life
he became a part of it..
i will just treat what happened to us
as a lesson
that all must experience..
to learn..
i will leave everything in the past..
it already passed..
this will be the last time i would open this thing..

soon i will be free..

i don't know if they are really fair
or just pretending that they are..
i don't need their support..
i want my freedom..
but they don't trust me,
my capability..
review?
no!
i don't need to pass that LET..
i have nothing to prove with myself..
or with other people..
i'm so tired of everything..
teach?
teacher?
that's not me..
that is someone they want me to be..
that i can never be to myself..
i want to get away from them..
i want to be free..
i need to be free..
it's time to change my sail..
and find who i really am..

when it comes to love, there's no easy answer..

i must admit i came to the point i wanted to just let him go.. because i feared that i might not be able to give him the happiness he deserves.. i didn't know how to express the love i have for him.. and my insecurities hindered me to find its ways.. i tried to cease myself from getting closed to him.. but i realized, once you've found the person who really makes you happy, no matter how complicated things are, you'll never mind.. all you wanted to do or the only thing that will matter to you is be with that person..

he is not the first love in my life.. i've had some attempts before i finally told myself, this is it..

i know we have so much to go through.. problems will arise along the way.. some people around us may try to break what we have now..

everything is uncertain.. but we only need to make decisions.. whether to go on or give up.. win or lose it.. hold on to it or just let it go..

yes, love may be our greatest hope yet it remain our greatest mystery.. it has different meaning to different people.. but i know one thing is for sure, it would make you really happy..

nothing is constant in this world.. but love assures that the happiness it gives will never fade.. if you just hold on to it..

i can't imagine myself living without him in my life.. i'd ratherdie than lose him.. i love him.. that's all i know.. and it means i will keep him and fight for him.. i will never let him go..