goodbye..

i am not feeling well because of so many things that i can't fix..
my lesson plan is not updated..
i can't teach my pupils well because i'm always unprepared..
reading test is near but i doubt if they will pass it..
kasalanan ko na naman..

tapos i can't find the winamp list in the computer i am using in sls..
then one of them is not working..

i can't clean my room, it is very messy..
eveythings is in chaos.. pati ako..

i don't know if i can still survive tomorrow..

i thought i was strong.. but i was wrong.. hindi ako ganon..
what's happening to me now?

i want to quit in teaching and go somewhere else to find myself..

teaching is really not for me..

i passed the board exam that made me a licensed teacher but am i really a teacher in the real sense?

i know i am not..
because my heart beats in different way..

i can't be effective because i can't give my 100%..

i don't belong on this field.. i need to get away..

maybe, by december or january.. i will be leaving cabanatuan and once it happened, i promise not to come back anymore..
wala ng dahilan para mag-stay pa 'ko dito.. hindi ako para dito.. at ayoko ng makita ang sarili ko dito kahit kailan..

LeT

It became memorable because of this day.. ang mga pasaway ay talagang pasaway.. but i'll except giraffe here kasi she was nice naman to me kahit may konting pahangin..

ate glow? i knew she and her friends don't like me..obvious na obvious noh! but don't you worry, i don't like them either.. i remember that she was attracted to stit way back in our R.O. days.. but his attention was ALL mine (nung 'di pa umeeksena si babylove..)
she is not like jumbo.. mas malala siya..
si kulot, nag-iisip lang 'yon na wala kaming gagawing matino..
pero siya, nag-iisip na kaya naming gumawa ng KRIMEN.. as in! hahaha..

but the B's are beast.. isa pa,we are autistics.. asa pa siyang maluto kami..
si beeone @ beetwo @ damay si beethree? goodluck sa inyo..

hmp.. i didn't expect that jumbo would offer her hand for a PLaSTiK na pagbati.. i just gave her a PLaSTiK na smile to acknowledge her effort to 'please' me..
as if she's really happy that i passed the exam.. if i know, nagdasal pa siyang mapabilang kami sa mga babagsak..

odyssey? nadasapemay ang lola mo..

i was shaking that time.. negative thoughts were running on my head.. especially that one of dugong's mortal enemies was standing in front of us.. but we had to stand on what we started.. 'gang sa makauwi na kami..

ang masasabi ko na lang: just take it as one of life's challenges.. hehehe..
i love you nanay @ tatay..

NEED A BREAK

i was planning to have a short hair when i went there in lacson last friday..
my nanay didn't agree with the idea.. she said "lalo lang mahihirapan ang mga lalaking isiping babae ka.."
hmp.. i'm still thinking about it..
just wish i'll have a very busy life ahead so the idea won't succeed..
i'm not afraid to look unpretty.. i am used to with what i am..
but i don't know if that will help me from letting go..
what happened, somehow, has impact inside..
i'm just trying to ignore it..
using different defense mechanisms to avoid the emptiness..
that was one of the toughest decisions i made in my life..
but it's the only way i knew to see myself better..
things already happened..
too late to save the lost time..

WAKE UP, JONA

tama si peter, mabubura at masusunog mo lahat pero hindi ang mga ala-ala.. mahal na mahal mo naman sana.. gaga ka lang talaga..

Christian Posted 16/3/2006

JONARIZZA AGULAN-- DATS MY GIRL.. words cant express the way i feel about her.. I love spending every moment with her.. thanks for loving me.. I will always be here for you.. remember that even if lage tau away , I still love you.. I will try my best to love you the way you should be loved.. Im so happy having you in my life.. I LOVE YOU!!!