Kawawa naman ang mga bata...

dahil ako ang teacher nila.. according to sir rodel.. i don't know if his statement was just a joke.. if it was only a joke, jokes are half-meant.. honestly speaking, it had an impact to me.. one step backward again.. for four years, he is the first one who made me feel undeserving to be an educator..

maybe, this is not what I've dreamed for myself but not even once that I neglect my duties and responsibilities to the kids.. I may have weaknesses and shortcomings but I always try my hardest to excel, for the kids.. I know, and god knows, i am doing all that i could to serve.. but anyway, my job is not about pleasing anyone else who doesn't see me and know nothing about me and my hard work.. it's about the kids.. because at the end of each day, it's what i give to them that will matter the most.. not this joke..

ALONE

that's what i feel right now.. or maybe, all my life.. because i am too strong.. too independent..
nobody bothers to think of my condition.. i'm only human, too.. i also need other people's concern..

you know what hurts me the most at this point, those i am expecting to care for me, to lift me, they are the ones who make me feel weaker..

i really feel bad.. it feels so unfair to treat me like this.. like nothing..

Umiyak ka ba nung bata ka dahil sa ELEPANTE?

dahil hindi mo maidrawing, dinaan mo sa iyak hehe:)

HARD TIME

sometimes, i want to quit.. but i know, quitting won't end our struggles.. at this point, we can only depend on each other.. i want to cry.. but crying would only make me weak.. i don't want to be weak.. i badly needed to be at my strongest.. for them.. all the time..
i was telling my sister a while ago about my plans after my responsibility in AL.. i don't want to leave, work abroad, but if this is the only way i could somehow ease our every day burden, i will embrace a life away from them even if that would mean like dying..
i can't share this to anyone because i don't need other people's pity.. we are really really down.. but we strive to survive on our own..
the hardest part on what we are facing right now, papa needs us, he needs our moral support.. but we don't know how we can make him feel that we are just here for him..
i know this is one of those times our faith is tested.. i am praying the wheel of life will turn and put us on the up side very soon.. we need help, lord..sorry to question you, why is it like this all our life? i just need some answers from all these distress we are going through..

Lovelife

i don't have it for two years.. very dull? no.. i may be single, but my life is not empty.. i am happy.. i am contented on how my life goes on each day.. hmmp.. i have my family and friends.. and of course, my job.. i have the kids who give me the sense of direction..

sabi lang ni V, sharing your life with someone else is another level of happiness.. to the highest level?!
ang sagot ko naman, "hindi ko kailangan ng logbook sa mga activities ko".. hehe:)

the problem is, HINDI NGA AKO MAINLOVE-INLOVE.. some of my closest friends are already questioning my identity.. may nagagandahan daw ba akong girl.. shit 'di ba?

sige CONFESS! CONFESS! gusto ko lang patunayan na GIRL na GIRL 'to noh! hindi lang talaga ako girly type..
sometimes, i envy those i am seeing anywhere with someone who holds their hands.. i wish, someone is holding my hand, too..
sometimes, i envy those girls whose phones are ringing because someone is calling and texting them just to say I MISS YOU, I LOVE YOU, TAKE CARE, blablabla.. i wish, there is also someone out there, who will do it all to me, too..
sometimes, i wish there is someone who will remember to give me flowers just to make me feel i am special to him..
sometimes, i wish to go to church with someone who will sit beside me while i am praying..
sometimes, i wish when i go to park, someone is walking with me, or playing badminton with me..
sometimes, i wish there is someone who will hold me, at my lowest and happiest moments.. i wish there is someone who will listen to my dreams and fears..
i really wish to be happy with someone and i wish that someone is happy to be with me, too..

there are waiting and willing but i am not a fool to force myself to like or get whoever is available or volunteering just to have someone who will do all those favors for me..

i am not a hopeless case.. and no one will be a hopeless case.. we don't need to be in a hurry.. or feel desperate.. because i strongly believe that things will fall into place in god's time..
just in case, we are destined to be single forever, so be it.. we can still be happy.. LIFE IS WHAT WE MAKE IT.. with or without a LOGBOOK hehe:)

Rodel

i really like him.. but i am not that numb to know that it is impossible..
so while it's early, i've got to withdraw myself from this illusion..
yeah, he is an illusion.. he wouldn't dare to like me..

I know.. even ordinary men do not notice me, how much more someone like him..
so i am not expecting.. i am always putting myself to the fact that CANNOT BE..

period..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8htM7Vl_oA&feature=related