done with form 137e and 138e for third grading and a lot of forms and reports are still waiting on me.. [sigh]
it's 1:30 in the morning and still up... many things disturb me... hindi ko na nga lang ugaling maglagalag ngayon... you read it right... i'm growing up, A LITTLE... unlike before na hindi ako papasok, nag-sisick call ako ng hindi naman talaga ako sick... i'm learning to consider my responsibilities... kahit na maghapon na pagiging tsimay lang ang role ng isang teacher, okay na din, at least may direksyon ang buhay ko araw-araw...
nag-PM ako kay sir soro, asking something... or i was only consoling myself that there is someone out there who really loves me for what i really am... i am needing someone to comfort me... even without talking what's going on... somehow, i felt good when i read his reply... that's enough to, at least, loosen up from carrying the loads...
i cannot open all those things that bother me... i don't know how i would... i'm thinking i'm too old to need a friend... to show weakness... to cry... to ask for help... to show off the world that i'm hurting right now... that i feel frustrated... betrayed... and left behind...
my mind is full of IF ONLYs... but i've got to make it with no other than myself all the way... i have to learn to depend to no one... i've got to be okay on my own...
i know i will be able to get over with them... i pray that it will happen very soon... that i would be able to say I'M DONE!
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