Sometimes I don't want to talk about what is bothering me... Sometimes I just want a hug... Someone who will let me cry...


February 24, 2011

WHERE IT HURTS?

in return to that kawawa thought, i put down all the possibilities that we can still work things out between us... i can forgive but i cannot be at peace while i am connected to him with the feeling that i won't ever be deserving...... this is the best choice i guess so we could both find what's really meant for us...

i hate to admit that his existence stirs me... my emotion... i know i don't have the right to be affected... i have been so insensitive, so heartless to him... whatever unhappiness i am going through right now, i deserve it... siguro guilty lang din ako... dahil may mali naman din ako talaga... at pagkukulang... sorry to him... pero hindi ko talaga matatanggap 'yung pagiging kawawa ko para sa kanya na wala naman siyang alam sa kung ano man ang nandito sa loob ko all these years... ayoko na ding ungkatin pa... the damage has been done... i'm done... time to think of myself over anyone else that doesn't really matter if i lose...

we must face it now, love never happened to me... there was no love to be considered... it was just a notion on my part... why not give it a try... that's all... he means nothing to me, after all...

so what now? life goes on... sanay naman akong mawalan... sanay akong mag-isa... philip is right, when i am already willing to open my heart again and love with fullness, god will reveal the right person under the right circumstances... i'd better wait for it... and be happy, even though pain is all over me at this time...

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