what if i showed her my meanest, she would not just dislike me, she'd hate me or curse me to death if i did... i may not need her approval but her words stirred me so much to the point i decided to go on my own now... i have this feeling they will only look at my mistakes and shortcomings while i am connected to them... and knowing me, i am prone to errors... prinsesa ng sablay! does it mean i will always be compared to someone who seems to be so perfect for them? or i will be regarded like a criminal everytime i fail to meet their expectations dahil teacher nga ako... bullshit 'di ba? so why let this bother me all my life if i could shut them out of my world... do i need to become different for them to think that i am deserving to be a part of their life? sorry, i am not that submissive... not that numb... i can't afford to lose my identity just to be the best for them... i am what i am, love me or hate me, I DON'T CARE...
now, i won't mind whatever negative thing they would say about me, i am no longer attached to them... i admit, it hurts a bit... it makes me sad, somehow... thank god there are people who can relate how it feels like to be treated that bad... that lasing-lasing thing, though not literally, helps me to cope up in a short time... and of course, idna's best, the best!
Monday, October 18, 2010
ReplyDelete"shoo"
When I learned that someone chose to "unfriend" me, I wasn't surprised. Maybe that's what I wanted too after all. I don't put false pretenses to people I care about and for me that's one of gravest things they can do to me. If that's just an acquaintance, officemate or a stranger then I wouldn't mind. But someone who has been close to me and still get to lie? Uh-oh, very bad. How can you even trust again if that's the case? I've been honestly blunt and I expect them to do the same. How can we get to understand, adjust or even meet eye to eye if we don't have an open relationship. And yes, it applies to all sorts of relationships! Well, you know what I mean.
But this so-called friend opted to go her own way and dump everything off to the bin. All fine with me. I was even surprised why I wasn't affected much about it. Probably, I'm tired of it all after everything that has happened. Does that person feel that he/she is the underdog here? Well, that person isn't the only one who got hurt, felt the brush off and all. Hmmmm.. whatever.
So I've been shooed and all just like a dog. At least, I wasn't the one who did it. I can sleep and live my life with joy and peace even if that person wanted me out of his/her life. And I know better. No one picks up something that has been thrown to the trash, right? Add the saying that goes, don't throw your pearls to the swine? Tsk tsk tsk. Too busy to spend time for such things honey. :)
Well, to that so called friend, I really wish you the best of luck. (And I'm saying that in all honesty.) I'm sorry that we had to end up like this but it may be for the better like what you said. If you feel I'm stopping you in achieving your dreams or belittling you in anyway then its good for me to step aside so I wouldn't block your way. No regrets dear. What's done is already over.