DIFFERENT

Busy-busyhan lang kasi ng konte.. It doesn't mean I am being indifferent..Kailangan kong gawin 'yon para hindi ko masyadong maramdaman 'yung mga frustrations na pinagdadaanan ko ngayon..
A friend told me that I should refrain from building walls.. that I deserve a break.. I told him, no need to push me, I am not locked in my shell.. I am not isolating myself nor I am not in the dark like what he always thought.. May social life pa naman ako, sometimes in networking, if we are overloaded of reports or I can’t sleep at night, or sometimes I go out with friends, inom-inom ng konte o madame, if I have no work the other day..

I can’t be like before who was not concerned in anything about tomorrow.. Ayoko ng daanin sa pag-inom-inom na lang ang mga drama ko sa buhay.. I am now aware of my responsibilities and what should be prioritized.. I have to work harder this time.. Give my best in what I do.. And though other people’s opinions are not big deal to me, I still need to preserve the dignity of my uniform..
Sounds so unbelievable, isn’t it? ME? MATURE? RESPONSIBLE? SENSIBLE? CONSCIOUS? Ahem.. Why not? All of us have the right to grow.. I did almost a year na din..

Being 23 is different from being 13, 15 or 18.. I must know my priorities for me to survive all the challenges.. I dropped some of the hindrances that make me less effective: the childishness, the problem in my attitude.. Realizations sink in suddenly.. Tantrums are no longer needed.. My difficult moods must be thrown.. Being walang pakialam sa mundo is not me anymore.. I am making pakialam na to a lot of things.. I am involving myself to different activities that may help me develop my self-esteem.. Even I am not as genius as my sister, I realized I am gifted of efforts and patience in training myself of different skills..

Sometimes, I learned that the more we are willing to accept change, the more we can achieve change..

There are days that I still think I am a little dumb, especially when I get frustrated with the kids, but I am trying to move on.. My goal at this point is not to be defeated.. I know there are still things I need to overcome, but for now, it is enough that I am evolving gradually.. with my strong faith that I can make it through.. Maybe, at the right time, in God’s time, you’ll see me in full-blown..